30 Days & 30 Ways: Developing a Heart of Gratitude

On this, the final day of October, what if we all made a plan for an intentionally gratitude-filled November?  Imagine how developing a heart of gratitude could affect our attitudes over the next month.

Here are 30 ideas to turn your heart toward gratitude this November – one activity for each day of the month.

1.     Ask the Lord to help you develop a grateful heart and open your eyes to the abundance of gifts that are all around you.

2.     In your prayers, thank the Lord for every member of your immediate family.

3.     Begin a gratitude journal. Grab a spiral notebook and write down 5 things for which you’re grateful.

4.     Send a thank you note by mail to someone who did something nice to (or for) you.  Maybe they did a very small something nice, but thank them with a note card sent through the US Postal service. You’ll make their day when they receive it.

5.     Even if you’re experiencing financial hardship, thank the Lord for what He’s provided and give a donation (maybe even just $1) to a charitable organization. Some stores ask if you’d like to “round up” to the next even dollar amount to give to charity or provide ways to give $1 or $2 to a non-profit group as you check out. Say yes today!

6.     Prayerfully thank the Lord for your health. Even if you’re struggling with illness, thank Him for the life and energy that He provided for today.

7.     Thank the Lord for your Spiritual Gifts and serve someone in need through your gifting. For example, if you have the gift of faith, share that faith with someone who may feel discouraged.

8.     Leave an “I am thankful for you” type of note in the lunch box or sock drawer of someone you love.

9.     When you notice kindness (someone opening a door for another, or somehow putting others before themselves), let them know that you noticed and say thanks.

10.  Write in your gratitude journal today. Can you list 10 things for which you’re grateful?

11.  Think of a friend who once helped you with a problem. Give her a call and let her know that you still remember and that it still blesses you.

12.  Reach out to someone on social media and randomly tell them you’re grateful for their friendship. You don’t have to get "ooey gooey", but deliver a short, sweet message of thanks.

13.  Say thank you to a teacher. This can be a school teacher, home school mom, Bible study teacher, Pastor, or mentor. Let them know you’re grateful that they invest in the lives of others.

14.  Is there someone who had a positive influence when you were a child? Reach out and thank that person. If they’re no longer living, thank the Lord that He brought them into your life.

15.  Thank the Lord today for dreams and longings that He’s placed on your heart and ask Him for ways to turn those dreams into reality.

16.  Consider a trial or hardship that you’ve faced and write down one thing that is better in your life because of that trial. Keep your note in a visible place and thank God for it throughout the day.

17.  Make (or purchase) cookies today for those who work at your local police of fire station.

18.  Deliver the cookies that you made (or purchased) yesterday. 

19.  Visit the website of your local town or city and learn the name of the current Mayor or other public official. Pray for them by name today in gratitude for their service.

20.  Write in your gratitude journal again today. List 15 things for which you’re grateful.

21.  Spend some time sitting or walking outside, noticing nature and creation. Thank God for His creativity.

22.  Clean out a small cluttered area in your home and gather items to donate. Express thanks to the Lord for His abundant provision to your family. Be sure to donate the items!

23.  Say thank you to a janitor or custodian. Maybe they clean your office building, or the restrooms in your local library. Let them know it matters to you and that you’re grateful.

24.  November 24^th is Thanksgiving Day, 2016. Ask the people at your dinner table to share something they appreciate about each other.  Be sure to thank the Lord for His generous blessings.

25.  Purchase a small Christmas gift for a neighbor that you rarely talk with.  A coffee mug with a package of hot cocoa mix is a simple idea.

26.  When you’re in line at the drive through, contribute $5 or whatever you can afford as payment toward the order of the person in line behind you.

27.  Send a thank you card to your Pastor.

28.  Consider whether your gratitude has increased over the last month. Thank God for your change of heart and encourage a friend to accept this 30-day challenge. Let her know what a difference it’s made in your life. Share the love.

29.  Comment on an uplifting blog, article, or social media video and let the author know how they encouraged or challenged you.

30.  Write in your gratitude journal. Record 20 things for which you’re grateful.

Do you have other ideas on how to express gratitude? It’s a simple, yet powerful habit to develop. How has practicing a thankful heart impacted your life and the lives of those around you?  Please share your thoughts in the comments below.  Or continue the conversation on Facebook or Twitter.

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Be Strengthened Today, by His Word

Psalm 119:28

Cathy

Embracing Victory

I regret that I didn’t learn this earlier. After several years into my Christian walk the Lord revealed the tremendous joy that comes from studying His Word. I pray that by the current stage of your walk with Him, you’ve learned that as well.  If so, you know that daily quiet time sets the stage for peace and walking in victory. It helps us stand strong and steadfast in the face of adversity. To partner with others in discovering the Scriptures is a great blessing through the discussion, encouragement, and practical questions that arise.

If you’re just learning to recognize how life changing God’s Word can be, hold on to your socks! I predict you’ll jump out of them with excitement and celebration as the Lord personally meets you in the pages of the Bible.

As a writer, speaker and Bible teacher, I often contemplate your stories, your life situations, and ponder how the light that shines through God’s Word will touch your faith and encourage you in hope. My aim is to lead you to examine the Scriptures for yourself, seek the Holy Spirit and his guidance, and draw out applications to use in the day-to-day—right where you are.

The light that shines through God's Word will touch your faith and encourage you in hope.

Please know I pray for you and continue to consider your precious lives as I write. I know you have faced (and may be currently facing) hard times. I have too. What I want you to remember and keep foremost in your minds is this: God is with you.

God is with you.

Perhaps in your current trial, you can’t see evidence of his presence or discern his involvement in your life. Maybe you pray but feel like you rarely see results. Some of you walk in the bondage of addiction without receiving the deliverance you have seen others experience. Some of you face overwhelming family matters that will be decided in a courtroom, all the while wondering why God has not intervened as you’ve hoped. This may make you question the presence and activity of God in your life.

I encourage you to trust. And when you struggle to trust, decide to do so anyway. God cares and I believe he’s about to prove it. God is with you and I’ll say again: he cares. You are his beloved child and he never takes his eye off you for an instant. He loves you more than you can imagine. He is a God who sees every smile, tear, and heartache.

Press on, sweet one, and know that the Lord holds you in the palm of his hand. Everything that the Enemy of your soul desires to heap upon you is filtered through the Lord’s loving fingers. He will only allow into your life that which will strengthen your faith and mold you into his likeness.

You will get through this season, I promise. And when you trust in God, you’ll get through it victoriously, whether on this side of heaven or the next. Victory is coming. As children of God, we will all be victorious.

Reflecting on God’s truth:

Take a few moments right now to quiet yourself before the Lord. Even if you’re beginning to run a few minutes late for a task or appointment, this is important time to carve out of your schedule. Praise God for his loving character. In 1 John 4:16 the Bible says, “God is love and the one who remains in love remains in God, and God remains in him.” (HCSB)

A Prayer for Today:

Lord, your Word says that you love with an everlasting love and therefore continue to extend faithful love (Jer. 31:3).  Will you help me recognize and embrace your love for me today? Show me all the ways that you are present and active in my life. Help me to trust you as my loving, heavenly Father. I need your help to change my mindset. Show me how to stop seeing myself as a victim of my circumstance and embrace the truth that I am victorious in you. Even when I face difficulty I know that you are with me and have a great plan for me.  With your help I will walk in that truth. I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Read more in Victorious: Finding Triumph When Hope Seems Lost

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Continue the conversation on Facebook or Twitter. I look forward to connecting with you!

Be Strengthened Today, By His Word,

Psalm 119:28

Cathy

How I Became a Stay at Home Mom

It felt like an ache that started deep in my gut and resonated through my chest cavity, nearly swallowing my heart. It was the ache of a mom feeling more than just a need –  feeling a compelling and unshakable draw – to leave the workplace and take a more active role in parenting her children.

In my last post, I wrote about that longing as well as the the benefits and blessing our family experienced as a result of my becoming a stay at home mom. You can read that post here. Today, I’ll share how – the logistics of actually making the transition from two incomes to one.

Pray!

I can’t over emphasize the need for prayer in this matter. If you are a mom having trouble dismissing an almost obsessive idea to become a “professional parent,” I hope you’re doing more than imagining it. Take it to the Lord in prayer. Ask that God confirm that the tug on your heart is from him, that he show you tools to make it happen, and provide for your every need during the transition and beyond.

As the Lord brings his peace about staying home to raise your family, there are many things you can do to prepare for the transition:

The Tithe

Begin (or continue) financial giving to your church home.  When it comes to the tithe – giving of 10% of your income to the Lord – he tells us in his Word to test him on this (see Malachi 3:10). In fact, that verse reads, “‘Bring the full tenth into the storehouse so that there may be food in My house. Test Me in this way,’ says the LORD of Hosts. ‘See if I will not open the floodgates of heaven and pour out a blessing for you without measure.’” That’s a powerful promise!

Before I left the workplace, Mike and I gave to the church often, but not regularly. However, as I felt the Lord’s call to transition home, I felt a counter-intuitive conviction. There was no way we were willing to walk through a significant reduction in our income without giving more to the Lord. For some, it might seem that we were trying to “bargain” with the Lord and “convince” him to grant our wish. That was not the case. Tithing felt like a natural way to express to the Lord that our faith was fully in him. We knew full well that our our transition looked like financial disaster on paper. Finances seemed even more askew when we subtracted a monthly tithe. But the tithe was a statement. We were telling the Lord, “We can’t do this, but we trust you are leading us to take a step of faith. We trust you and know that nothing is impossible with you.”  And so we began to tithe regularly to our local church. We never looked back.  

It wouldn’t be right to withhold the part of our story that involved very tight financial situations. Many months were difficult as we worked hard to make ends meet. We remember and retell one particular month where we had to choose between paying the mortgage and making the tithe. I recall asking Mike for direction thinking he’d advise in favor of the mortgage. Instead he said, “Write the check to the church.” So I took a deep breath and did so. That very month, Mike had opportunity to do some unexpected supplemental work, which provided money for the mortgage. That’s how it often goes in the adventure of tithing. The more we trust God, the more opportunity He has to show himself mighty.

Cut Costs

Evaluate current expenses.  When we have dual incomes, we often overspend on items or services that seem necessary. Those needs diminish when mom begins to stay at home and money is saved. For example, sizable savings can often be achieved by adjusting insurance policies. Household help like cleaning services can be eliminated. Clothing budgets diminish. It might be possible, depending on your family situation, to sell one of the cars. Clipping coupons has been known to save hundreds of dollars each month (I never adopted this practice so can’t provide advice). When we carefully examine our monthly expenses, we can see big reductions.

A Slower Transition

Consider a transition to part-time work before quitting your job cold turkey.  You’d be surprised how many employers are willing to provide a flexible work schedule to keep a valuable employee. I petitioned my boss who readily agreed to allow me to work part-time. My children were in school when I made the transition so I worked during their school hours and was home when they were. There are benefits to your employer:  less salary expense along with savings on benefits like retirement and health insurance.  Some employers also allow working from home, which is another way to transition into staying at home. I worked part time for about 18 months before transitioning completely out of work. 

Establish a Savings Account First 

As rapidly as possible, create a family emergency fund of at least $1,000 in a dedicated savings account. Things break. Medical situations arise. When we can draw from a personal emergency fund instead of going into debt on a credit card, it saves finance charges and monthly payments. Having the emergency fund in place before leaving the workplace is a valuable asset that brings great peace of mind. 

Make Money From Home

Research ways to make money from home. Stay at home businesses, selling on Etsy, or refinishing furniture come to mind. Pursue your passion. What are you good at? Teach classes to others and charge a fee. You can make money from home and it feels good to contribute to the family income.

A Thankful Heart

Practice gratitude and contentment.  Learning to be content with what we have, teaching our children that they don’t need every single gaming system or technology device, and thanking the Lord for all he provides are all practices that bring glory and honor to God.

Remember, if it’s truly the Lord who is calling you to leave the workplace, he has already set you up for success. You can do this with careful planning, frugal spending, and a heart to follow hard after God. He has prepared good works for us and we should walk in them.

For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10 (HCSB)

Your Turn:

Have you already transitioned from full time employment to a stay at home mom? What tips and advice can you share?

Is the Lord tugging on your heart to stay home with your kids?  What’s holding you back? Take an honest look at your objections and ask God for solutions.

Be Strengthened Today, by His Word

Cathy

Psalm 119:28

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Why I Became a Stay at Home Mom

The ache seemed to come from out of the blue. I had never considered being a stay at home mom, yet the idea ballooned from a fleeting fancy into a longing that gripped my thoughts with near painful intensity.

I was on a fast-track career path, climbing a corporate ladder, making great money, and earning the respect and recognition of both peers and superiors. Others told me (and I believed) that I was destined for great things, so as I considered my future, an active professional life seemed obvious. 

But the Lord was moving in my heart. He began to open my eyes - gradually at first and then with soaring urgency - to see how much I was missing when I left home for the office. Each day when I kissed my kids goodbye, I was more disheartened. As I drove away from them, I opened the door for someone else to mold their lives, shape their ideals, their confidence, and their dreams. 

I tried to dismiss my conflicted thoughts. Our family needed two incomes and I couldn’t just leave a full-time work environment… could I? I enjoyed my professional life. I found it fulfilling and it was certainly lucrative. But the longing to take a more active role as mom continued to swell. I adored every moment with my kids and it hurt my heart to leave them day after day.

Nothing is Impossible with God

Before long, instead of believing that leaving the work place was an impossibility, I began to wonder, “What if…” And the more I considered it, the more discontented I became at the office. I started to see a more negative side of professional life, fueled by the ache I felt when dropping my young children with their care giver. 

Have you ever noticed that when the Lord wants to make a point, He’ll sometimes surround us with a similar, repeated message? As I wrestled with the idea of leaving the workplace, I began to hear parenting sermons at church. Soon, my friends were talking about cutting expenses to prepare for decreased income. Then a pastor on the radio delivered a word about trusting the Lord rather than our paychecks, and the D.J.’s were discussing it too. When picking up a Bible study I found myself confronted with the reality that if God was prompting this transition, He would certainly provide for our needs.   

What we Expected

As I prayed, and studied, and discussed this potential life change with Mike, we agreed that, aside from the loss of income and notable hole it would create in my resume, there were scarcely few disadvantages. The blessings, however, were easy to list:

• I’d have much more time with the kids and experience the joy of pouring into their lives. We’d develop closer ties to one another.
• I could teach and influence my kids for Christ.
• Our family could enjoy a healthier lifestyle with earlier mealtimes with less eating on the run (aka less fast food!) 
• Our family time would become richer. We had become slaves to the clock. Arriving home from work meant cramming a whole day’s worth of family time into a few short hours that included dinner, play, baths, and hurrying the kiddos off to bed.
• We’d save money on gas, lunch expenses, and childcare. Those were big ticket items in our budget.

Still, I felt a healthy level of fear over stepping away from my job. Mike and I spent countless hours in prayer over the matter. We found that the Lord calmed our hearts and provided peace. He went ahead of us to prepare hearts of bosses, co-workers, and family who we expected to balk at the idea. God made it obvious when the time was right to make a move, and suddenly it felt easy to say goodbye to dual full-time incomes and embrace our trust in Him. 

What We Actually Found

Over my next two blog posts, I’ll share the emotions and challenges we faced and more practical points about how our family managed my transition to professional parent.  This post focuses on why we made the decision and the bountiful blessings that followed. As we journeyed through the switch, we discovered benefits we couldn’t have imagined without seeing them firsthand. This is what we found:

• My time at home improved our marriage. The rhythms of our family life now afforded relaxed, quality-filled conversations that were not rushed or filled with distractions from the office. Mike and I developed deeper bonds than we’d experienced in our marriage so far, and truly felt the teamwork of home and family life. 
• Completing housework, grocery shopping, and other “chores” during the week freed up our weekends for fun and relaxation. 
• The kids developed deeper relationships with Mike. When he arrived home from work, the three of them shared undivided time together. We realized that when I was working, the kids poured out a lot of energy trying to share their hearts with each of us. Now that I was home, evenings were calmer and more relaxed. The kids could bask in daddy time. 
• We purchased fewer “toys” (for both children and adults) that our dual income had allowed and realized freedom from materialism. Life seemed simpler and more rewarding when we enjoyed what we already owned. We didn’t really need that new car stereo or those new shoes and the kids didn’t need the video games that we’d once buy so readily. We stopped the mindset that more was best and were blessed by the freedom that came. 
• I found I became more available to the Lord.  My prayer life multiplied. We began to see Him move in our lives and we gave Him glory for what we once believed we’d accomplished on our own. I took part in Bible studies and began to grow in my relationship with God. 
• We felt we could say “yes” to participation in church small groups since our evenings felt so much freer. 
• Our church attendance increased. It no longer seemed as if Sundays were our only day to sleep in, rest, or catch up on errands or neglected projects around the house. 
• Mike and I both believed that we drew closer to the Lord and could more easily discern His promptings and directions. 

In short, nearly everything in our lives swayed with a calmer, more rhythmic beat. Our schedules and our relationships began to move to the cadence of a common drummer. We could more easily walk in step with God’s prompting and direction for our family. 

Where to Go From Here

The purpose of this post and my encouragement for you today is to listen to the Lord’s prompting if He is stirring the desire become a stay at home mom. It’s so easy to dismiss the thought as an impossibility, but I want you to hear and understand that if the Lord is directing you, He will provide for your every need. So instead of ignoring the longing of your heart, listen to it. Seek the Lord’s will in it with all your heart. Ask that He prepare the hearts of those who will have involvement in the decision - particularly your husband - and then sit down and have the conversation.  

"You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:12 (HCSB)

Whether or not you move forward with this life-changing transition, you’ll know that, at the very least, you sought the Lord’s will and were open and available to follow His lead. 

I don’t believe that the Lord calls every mom to stay at home with her children, but I believe the possibilities and blessings are worth considering. The bottom line is this: When we walk in obedience to the Lord, He brings His best to our lives. It doesn’t mean that we’ll live free from trials or difficulties, but we’ll experience the blessings for lives fully surrendered to Him. 

I, for one, want always to listen for His direction and live my life in ways that are worthy of my calling. May that be the cry of your heart as well.

"You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:12 (HCSB)

Your Turn:

Do you feel the Lord developing a longing in your heart to become more intentional and purposeful as a parent?

Do you feel that might include stepping away from full-time employment?

How can I prayerfully support you in your journey to discover His will in this matter?

Be Strengthened Today, by His Word

Psalm 119:28

Cathy

I’d love to respond to your comments, below. Or you can continue the conversation on Facebook or Twitter.

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Today Matters: My Heartfelt Cry to Fellow Families of Law Enforcement Officers

Writing through tears makes it difficult to edit and proofread. You’re sure to see more typos and errors than normal in this post, but I felt that timeliness was more important than perfection today. If you’re not a wife, but a husband or other family member of a law enforcement officer, this is for you, too. May it encourage your hearts. 

Law enforcement wives, 

I can’t believe it either. Police in Dallas were sniped. They were sniped. Murdered in cold blood with no way to defend themselves as they protected others. They were targeted and taken out with malicious and evil intent. 

My heart breaks. The tears flow freely and, like you, I ask, “Why?”  Why has our nation come to this point? Why are there colors associated with love and hate? Why, why, why?

We, too, are called

Some of you didn’t marry cops. You married teachers, and real estate agents and construction workers who felt a call to serve others. So they risked a lot. They gave up careers, established income and reasonable work schedules to serve. And they took your family along for the adventurous and extremely difficult ride of a law enforcement career. 

Maybe you weren’t fully on board. Or maybe you fully supported his decision but didn’t completely realize what you were in for. Either way, you’re in it now and darlin', there’s no going back. 

When your husband accepted the call to serve, so did you. And today of all days, we - as law enforcement wives - need to stand firmly in that role and hold our heads high. We mustn’t cower in fear today, even when we want to bury our heads under the covers and cry ourselves to sleep. Today, when one of the hardest things we’ve ever done is to get up and live, that’s exactly what we must do.

We have work to do

It would be easy to be consumed with fear today and allow ourselves to cave into the paralysis we feel. It would be easy to allow hatred to overwhelm us. And to allow our disbelief and anger to drown out our love.

But we can’t. Because we’re called too. And we have work to do. 

Today, our job is to encourage our cops. To let them know that while it seems the rest of the world hates them, WE will stand with them. WE will pray for them and WE will take courage too. 

We will not spew more hate on social media. We will fight hatred with love. We will pray for those who hate us and for those who hate our husbands. 

We will continue to support our law enforcement officers as they serve our communities and we’ll do our part to shine for our communities too. We will not cower. We will band together to stand firm. 

As those who live this life every day and see the ins and outs of police work from a unique perspective, we know that not all cops have rotten hearts. In fact, very few do. Most cops accepted the call to help others. To be public servants. Some - a very small contingent - have seen the ugliness in people for so long their hearts have become hardened. A FEW of our officers have struggled to cope with the stress, violence and hatred they witness every day. They need help. They need our prayers. May they receive both.

When we crave justice

Years ago, I received an encouraging word from a detective who faced a court case he wasn’t certain would bring justice. He assured me with his knowledge of God as the higher judge. He reminded me that the Lord sees all. God alone can judge right from wrong because He alone sees the whole story. God alone can see every detail of every side and angle of every story. 

So today when you can barely stand because of the grief you feel in your hearts, lean on the God of the universe and trust that in His glorious and perfect timing, all truth will come to light. 

Our world is declining. We have leaders in the highest positions who are spurring on hatred and violence and the most troubling thing of all is that we don’t see any measure of relief coming. But, police wife, keep your mind focused on God and the things above. Trust and know that He will not allow justice to go unserved. 

We don’t have to retaliate. We can walk in love - because that’s why our husbands took their oath of service. To protect. To serve. To uphold the Constitution. Even when the people they serve hate them. Our husbands continue to serve and protect even when they, themselves are being protested. They put on the uniform and stand to protect those who demonstrate their disapproval. And we love our officers for it. Our hearts rejoice in their conviction and morality in this still-noble profession, even when we’re terrified.

Today Matters

Our actions today matter greatly. So what can we do, today, to navigate this pain and support those we love?

1. Pray - if you can do nothing else today, pray without ceasing. When words won’t come, pray through your tears and pour out your broken heart to the Lord. Pray for the families who lost someone dear. They need our prayers. Let’s be generous with them. Pray for protection over our officers and for peace in our nation.  Humble yourselves. Pray and seek God’s face. He promises to hear from heaven and heal our broken land. 
2. Forgive - I know this is easier said than done. Today, decide to forgive and trust that the feelings and heart change will eventually follow. Each time anger and hatred rise up in you, remind yourself that you’ve decided to forgive and ask God to remove the feelings and emotions that display otherwise.
3. Support - your man needs you today. Be there for him. It will take all you have, but be strong and courageous. Do it for him. Do it for your families. Please don’t say, today, that you can’t take it any more. It’s okay to feel that way, but for today, try to hold those words back. Today your husband needs to know that you’re still with him and that together and with God’s help, you can navigate through it. Your support will bolster his courage on the street. Yes it will.
4. Encourage - reach out to other police wives today and encourage one another. Use only uplifting and wholesome words and don’t allow negativity to breed among you. Commit to one another to show love and to keep serving others. There is strength in unity and we need each other to help resist the evil in our world. 
5. Love - Draw on the love of Christ in those moments you feel you have no love of your own to show. He has enough for all of us and has plenty to share. He IS love, so use Him as your source of strength and your shield, and your refuge.

I’m praying for your strength and courage today. Will you pray for me too? When we've done all we can today, let's get up and do it all again tomorrow. 

Together and with God’s help, we can navigate this chapter of life and turn the page to find a hopeful future. Stand firm, my sister. In Jesus name.