Our Words Matter

What We Say Matters

by guest blogger Ailie Baumann

Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up. Proverbs 12:25

Perhaps you’ve heard the old saying sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. I’ve always found this to be an odd saying. Words do more damage than any physical action. They cut to the heart in one of two ways:

1 With conviction, purpose, destiny, and identity

2 With discouragement, hopelessness, increased fear and anxiety, and worthlessness

Our words have the power to bring life or death; blessings or cursing. We get to choose which one we partner with. A great example of the power of words is creation. When God made the earth, he said Let there be light. God spoke and there was light. That’s power right there.

Our words carry life and light. With our words, we can bring perspective into people’s situations. We are also able to bring people into a space where they can walk in who they have been created to be and the plans God has for them.

How?

By reminding them of God’s goodness, faithfulness, and hope. We use our words to point people to God so they may see life and people from his heavenly perspective. We shift atmospheres with our words.

Being aware of the state of the heart

Before we dive deeper into how our words affect the worlds of the people around us, our relationships, and our hearts, we need to be aware of the state of our own hearts. What is in our hearts will flow out of our mouths:

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23

As a family, we’ve had some tough times this year and a lot more changes than I’d like. I don’t do well with change although I am trying. I tend to become snappy and irritable because I get anxious about the future. My anxiety filters through into the words that I say and the tone of voice that I use.

During these moments, God is walking close by my side, encouraging me to trust him with my family and our future. I still struggle. I need to guard my heart by hiding in the Lord’s presence and allowing his peace to saturate every part of me. Time with God is the best way to align your heart with his.

From this place of peace, we are able to speak words of life, encouragement, hope, and healing into our own situations and the lives of others. This can get challenging when your spouse or other family members are also struggling with stress, anxiety, fears, etc. This is when your words become even more critical.  With your words, you can either encourage the stress or you can partner with God in bringing peace, restoration, and healing.

Our words affect our disagreements

My beloved came home stressed and frustrated from a challenging day at the office; I was irritable and moody because the kids had been squabbling and shouting at each other non-stop since I picked them up from school.

I heard the snappy comments at the kids and my skin began to crawl. I didn’t care that I should keep my mouth shut. Being sensitive….not a chance, not today….Before I knew it and against my better judgment, I reprimanded my husband, the love of my life.

I’m sure you can imagine that for the next while, the atmosphere of our home was strained. He was hurt and I was furiously justifying myself to God and myself. Still, that little niggle gnawed at my heart. My words of correction had conveyed a message of disrespect and dishonor to someone I hold in high esteem and value. An invisible rift had taken refuge in our relationship.

Of course, we made up and apologized to each other. Sometimes I even apologize to my boys for both my words and actions towards their father in front of them. The only way my husband and I reconnect our hearts is through sincere words of compassion, understanding, and apology.

Imagine, how much better our evening would have gone that day if I had kept quiet at the very least. It could have gone a lot more positive if I had spoken kindly to him. Often understanding and empathy open a person’s heart for us to encourage and refresh them.

In tough times uplift others

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

Recall the last time you were feeling anxious, fearful, worrisome, or low. What was it that gave you hope or encouraged your heart? I’m pretty sure that words played a big role in helping you overcome those low emotions.

Many times, this year, I have sat in worship on a Sunday or at home crying because I don’t understand where life is going or situations I find myself in. My heart aches for hope, purpose, and promises to be met.

Often, I have found God answering my cries with words of encouragement and affirmation from family and friends as they remind me of who God has made me to be, His character and nature, and that God has got me and my little family covered. These words have soothed my soul and released me from the clutches of despair and anxiety.

How about you?

4 Practical ways to encourage others with your words

We can uplift the people around us and in our community with our words in a variety of ways. It just takes a bit of imagination, willingness, and conversation with God. Here are some of my suggestions:

1 Write a note or text message for the person you want to encourage. Ask God to guide your words as you write. It may be a Bible verse, a quote, or a word of encouragement.

2 Pray over the person you are wanting to encourage. This may be when you are physically present with them, a voice note or a text message. Maybe you wish to phone them and pray over the phone. In your prayer, refer to God’s character and His love for them.

3 Play a song over them. YouTube has some amazing songs that you can use to encourage people with. You can send them the link via text message or other messenger chats. If you are musical, how about asking God for a song that you can record and send them?

4 Purchase or print a beautiful image with the wording you want to use as encouragement to your friend or family member. This may even include a Bible verse or two. You can give it to them as a gift.

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However, you prefer to uplift those around you, choose your words wisely. Value heart connection over being right and focus on keeping your heart pure and beautiful before God. Your words shape the world around you.

Ailie Baumann

Hi there, I'm a passionate lover of Jesus, wife, mom of three boys, and author of Pen Paper Paint (www.p3alive.com). I love to share my life and love for Jesus with others in the hopes of inspiring them toward a deeper relationship with him. I want to share the realities that Jesus is intricately involved in our everyday life. I love chocolate, drawing, music, and sushi. My goal in life is to love others wholeheartedly.