Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Alone. Rejected. Invisible. Inadequate. Overlooked.

Researchers say the average person feels ignored and excluded at least once every day. For most, the triggers are trivial and short-lived.  It’s more serious when the feelings settle in like a fog and make it hard to think of little else.  

Many women describe that the feelings become on-going and deep-seated when…  

  • A career is sacrificed to raise a family and she wonders, “when’s it my turn?”
  • Changes at the workplace push her far beyond her comfort zone.
  • A mother-in-law un-friends her on Facebook.
  • An ex-husband has unreasonable custody requests.
  • Shame surfaces from events in her past.
  • A husband is involved in porn.
  • A child chooses to live with her natural father instead of staying at home.
  • A husband’s career seems a higher priority than his family.
  • A friend is angry about something blown out of proportion.
  • A potential employer says no thank you.
  • A colleague constantly points out flaws.

It’s hard to combat feeling as if no one understands, and no one sees or cares about her needs. Her thoughts repeat the words, “What about me?” and she begins to feel that if she were just a better ______ (fill in the blank), things could be different.  

Once the thought patterns emerge, the enemy of her soul steps up his accusations. He knows the precise moment to begin the assault.  After all, he’s studied human behavior for thousands of years and can sense when she’s weakest.  He whispers lies, then speaks them, and eventually shouts them so loudly she can hear nothing else.

She concentrates on self pity. Her insecurity turns to pain, which evolves to anger, and transforms to bitterness. Before she knows what happened, her thoughts are all negative, all the time. She feels she’s become one of those overly critical people who spews discontentment and pessimism.

Break the Cycle

How do we break the cycle and take our thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ? How do we fix our minds on the things above and not what’s on the earth? 

Philippians 4:8 (NIV) Instructs us: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”  

This bears repeating. We must fill our minds with things that are:

True. Noble. Right. Pure. Lovely. Admirable. Excellent. Praiseworthy.

Only the Lord and His Word meet all of these criteria. We must fill our minds with Christ and the Truth of His Word. Consider the following Scriptures next time you find yourself in a downward spiral…

Genesis 16:13 (HCSB) 
So she called the LORD who spoke to her: The God Who Sees, for she said, "In this place, have I actually seen the One who sees me?”

Psalm 10:14 (NIV)
But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted;
    you consider their grief and take it in hand.
The victims commit themselves to you;
    you are the helper of the fatherless.

Hebrews 13:5b (NIV)
God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Deuteronomy 31:8 (NASB)
The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

Psalm 27:10 (NASB)
For my father and my mother have forsaken me, But the Lord will take me up.

Isaiah 43:2 (ESV)
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you.

Psalm 30:5 (NASB)
For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for a lifetime;
Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (HCSB)
Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Meditating on Scripture won’t solve all of our problems. It takes our focus off of ourselves and places it on God. Meditating on His Word makes us confident in Him. It will help us reframe our thinking and STOP obsessing over our pain and bitterness. That’s certainly a step in the right direction. 

When we’re thinking clearly, it’s easier to get the help we need to navigate our situation. We can walk in ways that are honoring to God and beneficial to ourselves and our families.  We find strength to comfort others through the comfort we receive from God. We recognize and embrace God’s best.

In Christ, we are strong enough to overcome feeling alone, rejected, invisible, inadequate, and overlooked. That’s not who we are.  As the faithful in Christ Jesus, we are blessed, chosen, adopted, accepted, redeemed, and forgiven. Ephesians chapter 1 tells us so.

I don’t know if you’ve heard “I am Not Alone” by Kari Jobe. It seems a fitting way to end this post.  Please enjoy it here.

Your Turn:

In the past, how have you dealt with feelings of rejection?  How will you handle those feelings in the future?

How do you strive to discern between mood and actual truth?

Leave your comments below or continue the conversation on Facebook or Twitter!

Be Strengthened today, by His Word,
Psalm 119:28


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